Thing's That Have Amused Us
"Your position never
gives you the right to
command."
"It only imposes on
you the duty of living
your life so that others
can receive your
orders without being
humiliated!."
Over heard one Wednesday night on the parade ground, "That church service on Leander Sunday, is it on the weekend or during
the week?"
Workmen spent two days building a $1,500 bus shelter at Walsall in the Midlands. No one had told them there'd not been a bus
in the street for three years!
A Dolphin was overheard asking his Instructor about the evenings activities prior to falling in on the parade ground for colours.
"Sir, what are we doing tonight?" The Instructor replied "were going out on the harbour." The lads face went blank for a second
then he asked "Sir, where is the harbour?" The Instructor pointed in the general direction "You know all that water over there,(pointing),where
you see boats sailing on it? Well lad, that's the harbour!"
In early 1966 critic's produced a string of Internet jokes on 101 uses for the Sky Tower. Suggestions included: *Adding flying
fox cables to carry commuters to outlying suburbs.
*The ultimate bungi-jump or Maypole site.
*An observation post"To
see if there really is life south of the Bombay Hills".
A funny Chain of Command system
Admiral
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
More powerful than a locomotive
Faster than a speeding
bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God
Captain
Leaps short buildings with a single bound
More powerful than shunting engine
Just as fast as a
speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God
Commander
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind
Almost as powerful as a shunting
engine
Slower than a speeding bullet
Walks on water in indoor swimming pools
Talks with God on presentation of Form
S1318, Request Form
Lieutenant Commander
Rarely clears little huts
Loses tug-o-war with shunting engine
Can fire a speeding
bullet
Swims well
Occasionally addressed by God
Lieutenant
Makes high marks when attempting to leap buildings
Gets run over by shunting engines
Can sometimes
handle a gun without self-infliction of wounds
Doggy paddles
Talks to animals
Sub-Lieutenant
Runs into buildings
Recognises shunting engines two out of three times
Is not issued with
ammunition
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in use of lifejacket
Talks to walls
Ensign
Falls over doorsteps when entering buildings
Says "Look at the choo-choo"!
Not allowed elastic for
catapult
Plays in muddy puddles
Mumbles to himself
Chief Petty Officer
Lifts tall buildings and walks underneath them
Kicks locomotives off tracks
Catches
speeding bullets with teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
He IS GOD!
